5 Things To Stop Doing To Avoid Killing Attraction
One of my biggest AHA moments in women and dating was when I learned that you don’t need to do everything right for women to be attracted to you. You simply have to stop doing the wrong things.
I learned this from reading an awesome book.
While the more you go out and practice flirting will you eventually pick up attraction skills that can lift your game up to the next level, the concept of avoiding doing the wrong things is a good start for men new to seduction.
Very often, you might find that giving women no reasons at all to reject you can be good enough generating attraction.
And because the majority of men behave like a coffee table when interacting with women, a little attraction might be enough for women to think that they are head-over-heels about you.
I have to admit.
When I was still a rookie in this dating journey, I could recognize moments when a girl completely shuts down. It was over. No chance in hell was anything going to happen. Kapoof.
Only through educating myself with attraction principles did I come to realize what I did that flipped those “Off” switches.
Without further ado, here are some behaviors to stop yourself from doing to avoid killing attraction.
1) Talking and not listening
There is a phase where the guy is supposed to talk more so as to give the conversation a nudge. This is typically early on in the interaction.
But once you have got a girl to open up, you need to shut your mouth like a garage door and focus on listening.
By retaining the frame that you are the talkative one in the relationship, you are communicating that you are:
- Not the prize
- Taking responsibility of keeping the conversation going
- More interested to telling about yourself than learning more about her
- A narcissistic pig
- and more
While you are a man who is in charge of setting the direction in the relationship, she is also expected to play her part in keeping the communication interesting and two-way.
Moreover, listening or acting like you are listening, make her feel important.
2) Too accommodating
I wanted to say that you cannot find your balls to stand up for yourself. But that’s too crude as a sub-headline.
So we’ll settle for the more benign term accommodating.
This is a fascinating phenomenon among all men. Even after years of doing this, I can sometimes still find myself being guilty of it occasionally.
Women should not be forgiven for being a unreasonable behavior just for being women.
Let’s take the act of being late for example. Being late is almost a mainstay with women. It must be built into their DNA somehow. So it’s not unusual at all that you would have to wait for her for a meetup.
Being late for 10 or 15 minutes is acceptable. Although you should still bust her balls for doing so.
But being late for 30 minutes or an hour is simply too long. It is a total lack of respect for your time.
The funny thing is that most guys would let it go and just go on with the evening as if nothing happened.
You don’t need to get angry over this. But you shouldn’t let it go either. Letting it go is just declaring to her that she can walk all over you like a carpet.
In circumstances like this, at least “punish” her for being late by getting her to pay for dinner or making her take the wheel. Or even something as simple as making her address you as “baby” for the rest of the evening.
3) Pleasing her for no reason
There’s nothing wrong with helping someone out once in a while.
But if you are regularly helping a girl with her errands or work or even worse… with money for no apparent reasons other than her having a pair of double Ds, you need to wake the hell up.
You are not her boyfriend and will probably never be. She might not even consider you a suitor.
You are just the guy who she takes advantage of to make her life easier.
I’m not kidding.
I have female friends who joke about how they are using men to pay for drinks at the club, transport around town, free posh dinners, etc. All the while having absolutely no interest in them at all as a fling or boyfriend.
One of whom (who has an adorable husky btw) even jokingly proclaimed her indomitable power of the pussy. The more these men go out of their ways to do stuff for her to earn an extra brownie point just by her asking, the more she sees them as butlers and slaves… to the absolute power of the pussy.
If you find that you are really a nice guy inside and naturally has to bend over for her, at least get her to do something for you in exchange. This will make her feel that you are not being taken advantage of and has a back bone of your own.
You don’t even need to ask her to do big favors for you. There’s no need to command her to run down to the hardware store to buy you a pair of pliers. Simply telling her to say “please” might be good enough depending on her personality.
4) Not touching her
Please don’t get this the wrong way. You should never touch a woman sexually unless she demands it.
What I’m referring to is what the seduction community refers to as kino-escalation.
This refers to having friendly physical contact with a girl to get her used to your touch.
The problems is that if you are new to this, you might give off an eerie vibe when executing it.
A method of guiding yourself is to touch with a purpose.
For example, when the both of you are walking in a direction and you abruptly decide to turn left, give a light pull on her elbow to turn towards the direction of your intent. Or when the two of you need to move in a straight line through a crowd, put your hands on her shoulders to to form a straight line formation.
You get the drift.
If you go too long without any physical contact, she would start wondering why there is little progress in the relationship and emotionally wander off to someone else.
No point wasting all that time investing in a man who would not step up.
I repeat. Don’t try anything funny with physical contact unless you are absolutely certain that she is fine with it. You could end up behind bars.
5) Chatting about religion and politics
I understand that you might have a strong passion for the beliefs and ideology in your mind. But these topics should be absolutely avoided when dating.
Especially on a first date.
People who have a passion for religion or politics tend to have very strong opinion and are not afraid to stand up for them when challenged.
Even if you have the same religion or support the same political party, big disagreements can still arise from little details.
Leave that till you are married. It would be normal then.