Commitment Issues – A Level Playing Field For Both Men And Women
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Until today, I still unknowingly put on a smile when women tell me that their men in their lives have commitment issues. It is as if the issue of commitment is tagged to men just like stilettos are to women. The greater concern is that a lot of men I meet actually feel that commitment is a man’s issue as well. This effectively carves a mindset in their minds that men will have to consciously make an effort to be committed… while when women are not committed, it is because the men are not showing commitment to warrant women’s commitment.
Still following me?
Contrary to what a lot of men think, I actually find that a healthy woman that has her life together is MORE afraid of commitment than anything you can imagine. If you think about it, this makes perfect sense. A woman who has a great fun career will be enjoying her work and social life. Why would she want to potentially give that up and spend boring weekends watching rented DVDs with one guy that imposes commitment on her? Even if you are multi-millionaire with the financial strength to support her, it is unlikely that a great woman like that want to play second fiddle to you for the rest of her life.
So unless you hit the lottery by meeting that single women who is smart and beautiful and does not have a social life, you better don’t start showing your commitment early on in the relationship. You will scare her off.
Don’t get me wrong. Commitment is something that is very important if you are ready to settle down. What is crucial in early dating is not to show your commitment BUT show that you have the ABILITY to commit. This can be easily done by telling stories. Just dropping a short snippet about a past relationship where you planned for the future with your ex-girlfriend is good enough.
The truth is that a huge number of women are no longer the obedient species that classic TV shows have led us to believe. Women have evolved and it is up to men to manage that or get left behind. Commitment is essential in s committed relationship. Until you reach that point you should only display your ability to commit.
So here are some things that you should take note of yourself because they raise the commitment flag.
1) Arranging for a date in 1 week. Anything more than 3 days to arrange for a casual date is too serious and too much commitment imposed. Women want to have the flexibility to manage their social life. Fun events may come up during the week and they need to have the freedom to decide without having the weight of a casual date committed a week ago.
2) Telling her about your past relationship and that you want your next relationship to be a serious committed one. No woman want to be judged as a slut and say explicitly that they want a casual relationship. However, when you say your commitment statements, it puts a lot of pressure on women just to go out with you.
3) Talking about marriage planning when you are only dating. Only talk about this after you have proposed and she sad yes.
4) Talking about joint accounts, family insurance, buying a house together, your kid’s college funds, etc. You get the picture. And definitely DO NOT discuss joint applications for business loans, education loans, supplementary credit cards, etc.
5) Imply in any way that you fully expect to see her whenever you want to. Women are not a handy app you have on your Android phone. Live and let live.