Your Biggest Test – Meeting Her Friends & Small Talk
So you have been dating this girl for a week now. You’ve had fun and feels that she is totally into you.
You may think that you have hit the big time when she ask you to come along and meet her friends. You think that she has finally accepted you as a boyfriend and wants her friends to get to know you and accept you as her boyfriend. She wants to show them that she has finally found that special someone and boast to her friends.
I’m sorry to have to break this to you. But you are off by a long shot. You are indeed being put on your biggest test that only 1 in 100 men will pass.
This test is not about getting her friends to like you and be impressed by you. It is about getting them NOT to dislike you enough to trash talk you. And I bet that they have already trash talked about you when she told them about you throughout the week.
Usually when a woman has fallen for you, she will want to be with you just based on attraction alone. But the differences between the 2 of you will become a problem because the people around her will talk shit about you when they don’t even know you.
When she tell her friends about you, her friends will make her doubt your relationship with her by saying that you sound “too good to be true”. Or you just seem too “smooth”.
She knows that she has fallen for you and knows that she could be blinded to your flaws by her attraction for you. And because her friends are supposed to look out for her, it is implied that they are supposed to look out for your flaws and inform her about them. This is really a situation that you cannot win UNLESS you are a seasoned professional seducer. Even a professional will have a hard time passing all the test when every little thing he does is being scrutinized and judged upon.
Repeat. HER FRIENDS ARE EXPECTED TO LOOK OUT FOR YOUR FLAWS.
Being the “loyal” friends that they are, your woman will listen to their advice and possibly hold back on progressing your relationship. Unless she is someone with a very strong mind, whether you get to close the deal next week really depends on the people around her
So next time when she wants to take you to her friends, unless you are already in a relationship, you better think twice before thinking that it is a good chance to impress her and her friends. Your dreams of a meaningful relationship may just come crashing down solely based on the opinions of people who don’t even know you.
What can you do?
The best move to execute is to refrain from meeting her friends.
Tell her jokingly that you already have a lot of friends to handle, and will only take on more friends if she is your girlfriend.
Say that you don’t want her friends to fall for you and you have to choose between her social group… you don’t want to break up her friends.
Or tell her that her friends will like you so much more than her. You don’t want to make her friends neglect her for your attention.
Simply tell her that you want her not her friends.
However, if you have been duped to attend a gathering of her friends, bear these in mind. The following are your best bet to leave the gathering intact.
1) ONLY make SMALL TALK with the her friends. Don’t get all opinionated to get across your personal point of views. You may just hit a very sensitive topic that will offend them.
2) Ride on her friends to make fun of her. Her friends will feel as if you are part of the group. And she will think twice about setting you up for a ruthless test like this again.
3) Leave early so that you do not have to pay for everybody’s drink. This is a losing situation. If you pay for everyone, they will think that you are trying too hard to impress. If you don’t pay for everyone, you can come across as a miser. So leave early and pass your payment to your girl to settle your share of the drinks.
4) Do not just hang around your girl like a baby elephant. Have fun and make small talk with everyone.
5) If games are involved, do not win all the time as if you are participating in an international tournament. Winning all the time only give her friends an excuse to despise you.
6) Don’t attempt to impress anyone. It’s the attitude of TRYING TO IMPRESS that will make her friends think less of you.
I love to meet new people and the prospect of widening my social circle is a perk that I see when dating someone new. However, do remember that meeting a woman’s friends before you get together with her can gravely harm your chances with her.
The best is to only meet them after you have closed the deal.
And if this is an event that you are unable to back out of, you should probably brush up on your social skills by giving this program a go.