7 Reasons She’s Not Returning Your Calls After A First Date
You thought you had everything covered. You were on your best behavior and actually cut out the foul language. You took her to the theme park and had a great time together. You can even recall a point in that first date which you were sure she was starting to picture you naked.
Now you have got home at the end of the day and just cannot reach her. She wouldn’t answer your calls and give 1-worded replies to your text messages as if you have a gag order on her.
In fact, this has been happening for the last week ever since that first date which you felt was perfect.
What went wrong? How did you lose her even before you got her?
You might think that the dealbreaker was one of the common dating taboos like being boring, being a single parent, not being rich, not good looking enough, being a mama’s boy, having no humor, a generation gap, etc. But these issues are actually acceptable to most women.
The reality can be stranger than what you think.
It is not uncommon for both men and women to go on dates after dates in search of the right partner. And many of them have their objectives so focused that they have no time for any funny business.
You are probably like that too.
The question is how did you trigger that switch that made you “funny business”?
1) You explicitly said that you are afraid of bugs
I don’t know how this fear of bugs came about. Most bugs don’t have the weapons to hurt us. And those that do, will be smashed immediately if ever they are crazy enough to attack us.
But even so, both men and women can suffer mental breakdowns just by the sight of one. The fear of bugs is not gender specific.
It must be in our DNA. I don’t know.
Maybe a million years ago, there were grasshoppers so huge that they could have a full grown man as a light snack. And somehow this fear of bugs have been genetically passed down onto us. Women can often freak out when they see bugs like cockroaches.
I’ve even met women who have no fear at all concerning bugs… but completely freak out when they see kittens! Can you imagine that?! Something as cute and cuddly as a kitten can be perceived as the devil. There are also those that are only afraid of domestic lizards…
The point is that you can never tell what kind of street pets and insects pushes the buttons of someone. The most common however, are bugs. You might think that this is something really minute and stupid. But remember… it CAN be important to a girl.
Women who have these issues can make it a point to find a partner who can take care of things when their most dreaded pests fly through the windows. They have been living with this weakness throughout their lives. So you really can’t fault them for wanting a man that does the dirty job.
Maybe you have somehow mentioned in conversation that you are afraid of them too.
This only tells the girl you were dating that you are not the right guy for her.
2) You did not pay for dinner
I know… a woman who would fault you for not paying for dinner is really shallow…
You shouldn’t be showering women with your money before a relationship. But dinner is just dinner. It’s not as if you are buying her designer handbags or cashmere sweaters.
I’ve met many women who have done pretty well for themselves career-wise. But they still feel a need for the guy to pay for meals. Especially when that meal is dinner on the first date.
Paying for it as a man is more of a symbol than anything else. Women want to see you do it so that they can put a tick on their checklist. Those who have a backbone will usually offer to pay for the next meal or the next date. It is those who still insists that you continue to pay indefinitely that you should run away from.
If you made her pay for dinner, or even worst, went Dutch, on the first date, you could have unknowingly raised her “wrong man” alarm.
And all you were trying to do was to avoid making it look like you were buying her attention. It backfired…
You made yourself look like a cheapskate which only encouraged her to date that other guy who have no qualms about paying for fancy restaurant experiences.
3) You did not allow her to talk
Sometimes you get so fixated on not being boring, that you didn’t realize that you have been running your mouth like a machine gun during the date.
Conversations and interactions are 2 way. You might have been living in the basement in isolation for years and finally have someone to pour your heart out to. And as you were blabbing away, you forgot that she might have her life stories waiting for a listening ear too.
Then she realizes that you are all about YOU.
Some women actually like guys who keep talking like a radio show. But you might have made this epic mistake by not feeling out which category of women she belongs to.
The gold in dating is when you get a girl to talk and open up emotionally. By completely dominating every conversation, you have slammed the door shut on the next date.
No wonder she is not returning your calls… because you would be the only one on the call…
4) You didn’t use deodorant
Some people have no body odor, some have a little, and some carry a heavy aroma with them.
And you can’t be certain whether someone has an odor until you go out and spend some time together. I can attest to this as I have actually dated women who I only realized have the dreaded B.O after getting close (too close) to them.
The problem is not that you have B.O. The problem is that you did not make an effort to get it under control it.
You can go around complaining to everyone that women are shallow. But women will be shaking their heads at home to the predicament. And she won’t go around telling her friends because she wants to save you some dignity.
Smell is something that we can’t turn a blind eye to. You can’t even distract it with noise. You nose simply can’t avoid it.
If you know that you have B.O, don’t go out without deodorant. It more personally hygienic anyway.
Again, you might argue that you only want a woman who would love you for who you are. If that is so, then a girl would prefer someone who would manage it rather than ignore it.
5) You kept talking about your ex-girlfriend
Women tend to have a higher capacity for jealousy than men. Some women cannot even handle their boyfriends looking at a hot chick for an extra second. Yet they find it difficult to put down the guy with 6 pack abs on a magazine cover.
And for a number of ladies, the one thing that triggers their jealousy like lighter fluid to hot charcoal is the mere mention of your ex girlfriends. Even worst if you compared your date to your previous girlfriends.
Ex girlfriend topics can be an immediate turn off to women… even if you mentioned them light-heartedly. Avoid at all costs next time.
Be careful when using push pull attraction techniques. Or at least keep your previous girlfriends out of the picture in any conversation.
6) You do not have a social media presence
With how the Facebooks and Twitters have taken over the world these days, it is really hard to find someone who does not have a profile online. Those who don’t are probably way past their dating lifestyles.
So when you don’t have a social profile, a place where she can verify your life, she can start thinking that you have something to hide for not getting a presence online.
In fact, what’s more likely to happen is that she won’t believe that you don’t have one. And that you are deciding to lie that you don’t because you don’t want her to see your cuddly pictures with your real actual girlfriend.
You know what’s the number 1 thought that goes through a grown woman’s mind when she meets a suitor? It’s the continuous suspicion that the guy has a wife! Yes, you’ve heard that right!
By not having a social profile, you are igniting that irrationalism within her. And she could choose not to deal with that by dumping your phone number in the trash.
7) You had presented yourself as too much of a challenge
I’m not kidding.
Even though in our community, we preach being a challenge to women so as to arouse attraction, there is a line that once you cross, you get perceived as unattainable to women. And when that happens, everything shuts down like the dreaded blue screen on your computer.
Suddenly, she thinks that she might have to make too much of an investment, too much of a commitment, and take too much of her time. And then there is no guarantee that she will be able to close you.
A logical person would pull the plug on you and move on. Of course things could have been different if you had built up enough attraction. The problem is that you didn’t. Now her boat has sailed, and you are left with a contact taking up space on your phone.
There are circumstances where you hit a girl with attraction spikes after attraction spikes to get going. But for many women, particularly those that do not have high self-esteem, going overboard with attraction techniques can cause the opposite. Especially when you don’t know how to use attraction and conversational techniques properly.
So be more aware of the state she is in next time. If you keep pushing, eventually she will emotionally fall off a cliff and you are left with nothing.
By the time you realize your mistakes and try to make up for them, she could have already moved on. That window of opportunity to make her your girlfriend is gone. She no longer has any emotional attachment to you as her feelings are now diverted the new guy she is dating.