5 Baddest Texting Mistakes That Kill Attraction
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Texting has been a mainstay in dating ever since the days of SMS. These days with instant messaging apps in all out mobile devices, it has become an irreplaceable phase in courtship.
That is why getting that phone number or messenger username is still something that guys boast about in terms of their success with women.
But what many don’t realize is that getting that number is not even half the battle won… because having her number does not guarantee that you are going to get a date… and you can only properly seduce a woman on a real physical meetup… unless you are just looking for a virtual girlfriend and would like to keep your lefty as your lover.
People give away their usernames like water these days. So don’t think that you have already generated attraction just because you got someone to give you a way to contact her.
Here are 5 of the BIGGEST and BADDEST texting mistakes men make that destroys any attraction (if any). Leaving you wondering how that fantasy you played in your head vanished into thin air.
1) Responding too fast
I see women blogging a lot about how infuriated they get when guys don’t reply to their messages immediately.
Don’t mistake this as a rule from Dating101. If anything, it’s just shows how unnerved they can be when they can’t put a finger on a potential suitor.
Well… men can’t stand the amount of time women spend on making up as well. Do you see women putting any extra effort into being on time for a date? I rest my case.
I’m not talking about waiting for an hour or 2 before reply to text messages. What you should do is match the amount of time they make you wait.
For example, let’s say you open a conversation and she replies 30 minutes later. You can take this as an indication that she just saw your message and reply as soon as you see the message. But if she took an hour to reply to your second message fully knowing that there’s an active conversation going on, MATCH THAT.
Replying instantly in this case just shows how desperate you are in seeing her text. And seeing how much you want to chat just gives her the onus make you wait longer.
It basically makes you an MP3 player. She can press a button and get to hear something out of it… IF she chooses to.
Don’t get me wrong. It’s perfect fine to reply instantly when she is messaging you fast and furious. But when she is playing the delayed response game, go along and play with her.
By matching her response time, you are communicating that you know the game that is being played here. And you can do this all day long. You value your time. And if she wouldn’t give you the attention you deserve, she’s not getting any from you too.
2) Texting too much
Alright. Let’s say you have got around the response time issue, or there wasn’t any to begin with. The next mistake that people are so prone to making is texting too much.
Sometimes a text conversation can get so engaging that you just don’t want it to end. So you keep banging on and on trying to keep the interaction alive.
The longer you keep texting in the same day, the clearer the picture she paints about you. Even if the picture she has in her head about you is TOTALLY WRONG, it doesn’t matter to her.
She starts thinking she knows you already. And unless you are a celebrity or have supermodel good looks, you become perceived as just another guy trying to get in her pants when her mental picture takes shape.
You are no longer mysterious. You are not as slick as she thought. And she even starts to think that you must be a professional texter for being able to last so long.
This kills any attraction she has in you. In fact, you’d probably run out of fun things to talk about pretty soon. Making you a boring person to chat with.
Don’t mistake a continued conversation as attraction. Many times, women are just being polite, killing time, or just basically… texting.
You need to end it as soon as you find a good excuse to. The longer you text, the closer you get to the edge of the attraction cliff.
The real game is played on a real date. Texting is just a phase before you get there.
3) Sending pictures
Unless you are blessed with gorgeous good looks, avoid sending selfies and pictures. This is assuming that she has already either seen you in person before or have seen a clear profile photo of you.
If the girl you are texting with has never seen you, then it’s a legitimate reason to request for your pics. In this case, send a nice image of you.
But especially in online dating and dating apps like Tinder, women can often ask you for more and more pictures. This even though you have already uploaded them – portrait and full body.
When a woman keeps asking for more pictures of you, it already means that rejection is on the way. She has already written you off and is just getting more pictures so that she can say something like “He has single eyelid! No way!” to justify herself.
The more pictures you send, you are just giving her more reasons not to date you.
The exception is when you look aesthetic and photogenic as mentioned earlier. In this case, even more that you shouldn’t send your pictures. This implies that if she wants to see more of you, she needs to meetup with you.
Try this. Next time someone ask for extra pictures, go grab a picture of Brad Pitt and send it over. If she bust you for it and ask for pics again, send her Brad Pitt in a different pose.
It’s fun. And so audacious that it would only make her want to meet you more. I promise.
4) Not using emojis
You must have come across the notion that 93% of communication is non-verbal. So there’s a lot of challenges and limitations when unleashing your seduction arsenal on a phone.
In fact, there’s not even a verbal element in texting. It’s all visual… in a boring way.
Emoticons allow you to add expressions to what you are saying. It helps to add non-verbal cues into the interaction.
And often times, people won’t know that you are joking or flirting with purely text messages. Adding emojis to the end of your sentences can communicate that you are just joking and implies that she should not take your words too seriously. 😛
Innocent harmless comments can appear hostile when typed in text. Putting emojis into the mix can prevent misrepresentation.
Use them as much as you want. It’s much better to have emotions on the table rather than none at all.
5) Not creating anticipation for meetup
Women know that the dating call is coming sooner or later. And more likely that not, they have already mentally replayed how to respond when the time comes.
You can throw her off her rejection speech by offering incentives to meetup. This can be achieved by simple conversational tricks and techniques.
For example, you can bring up topics in text and when when she ask you to tell her more about it, say that you will tell her when the 2 of you meetup. Or say that you were traveling the last week and got her a present which you will pass her on meetup. You can even say that you have gone 10 years with the hairstyle in your profile photo and have just got a new cut.
Although these things seem like small issues, they create anticipation to meet. The more of these little things you throw into conversation, the more reasons she has to justify a meetup. And the more she looks forward to meeting you.
If she cannot find any reason at all to meet you in person (again, unless you are gorgeous)… then why meet at all?
Remember not to fall into the trap of thinking the deal is as good as closed once you get a phone number or username. It is seldom that easy and straight forward. You don’t need to be a texting superstar to finally get her to agree on a dinner date. But you surely cannot be a freshman who makes the mistakes listed above.