7 Things I Learned From 3 Months Of Tinder Flirting
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I’m not new to online dating, but I’ll admit that I’m totally new to app dating.
I’ve always heard and read about the chaos that is Tinder. And after breaking up with my girlfriend in December, I’ve decided to give Tinder a go and see what the fuss is all about.
Allow me to boast for a moment that I’ve done very well for myself with dating sites. I honestly don’t even know how many women I’ve been with from dating websites since I began in 2009. And I thought that I can easily transit that success to app dating effortlessly.
And boy was I wrong. Tinder is a totally different monster altogether.
And here are 7 things that I want to share. Maybe they can help you in one way or another. Maybe the stories will entertain you. Maybe you don’t even care. Whatever.
1) There really are genuinely hot single women on the app
I know this as a fact as I’ve went on dates with some of them in person.
When I first started swiping all over the place, I was pleasantly surprised to find so many attractive ladies posting their photos for men to ogle at.
Modern times have changed… and changed quickly.
These days with the younger generation so intent on sharing whatever they do on places like Facebook and Instagram, they truly feel that it’s the norm to post their pictures online for others to envy.
However, because of how successful these dating apps are becoming these days, it has become a focus of unethical marketers as well. And these marketers usually use custom built bots disguised as gorgeous women who likes you.
If you are a beginner, you might find it hard to tell the difference between a robot profile and a real one. But as you get more acquainted with the app, I’m pretty sure that you will be able to easily tell them apart.
One of the tell-tale signs is when provocative photos are used. Or when obvious supermodels are used.
Key takeaway: You can really find attractive single women here
2) The volume of users is just astounding
When I first started with Tinder I decided to give it a test run first to get a feel of it. So I avoided using my best pictures as the main profile picture. It’s not that they are unflattering. It’s just that they don’t make me look as good as I can be.
I started swiping. And then the engine started.
Day after day. Matches are coming in like clockwork. And every so often I get a match with a hot girl.
I was so taken aback by the results that I felt that most of them were surely bots. So I attempted to chat each and every one of them up. And what’s even more shocking is that I determined that almost all of them are real actual people.
It helps that Tinder automatically deletes profiles they suspect as robots and are removed from your matches.
With the amount of matches I saw, and having orientated myself with how to optimize the use of the app. I restarted my journey by deleting and resetting my account.
This time, with a better main picture, matches were coming in with more ferocity.
But they eventually slowed down after some time. It must be some algorithm that Tinder has built into the app that gives new users more exposure compared to old-timers. This probably enhanced their subscription rate as new users are more likely to upgrade to the paid version.
Key takeaway: Be prepared to get your ego stroked by seeing matches come in
3) Responsiveness (or lack of)
You would think that if you are attracted to a woman’s pictures, and she feels that same way about you, that you already have the battle half won. I found this logic to be true with online dating websites.
But it’s a different world over here. This is when the awakening begins…
- Probably 1 out of 50 women will start the conversation. And those who do are usually those whom you regret swiping right on
- Probably 4 out of 10 will not even respond to your conversation starter
- Probably 5 out of 10 who responds to your opener will only respond with uninterested one-worders throughout the conversation. e.g. Yes, Right, Haha, LOL.
- Probably 5 out of 10 who don’t just respond with one-worders will ask you robotic questions as if conducting a job interview
- Probably 1 out of 30 will ask if you are interested in a one night stand hookup
- Probably 1 out of 20 are hookers and social escorts solicitating for business
- Only a small number of matches you get will land you with someone who is even interested to have a real conversation with you
- And out of that small number, half have no interest in anything more than just conversation
- Half of that half will agree to go out with you
- And 80% of that will not look like the picture on their profiles… although you can tell that they are the same person as in the pics
Surely you don’t need me to mention that these numbers are not exact?
I don’t just think that I’m a fun and interesting person to flirt with. I know I am. But even with my skills on overdrive, most of the time, I can tell that there is little to no progress in the seduction process. And unless the girl is really attractive, I won’t keep plugging away at it.
Yes. I’m not a dating god. That I’ll admit. I’ll give that title to Trevis. But how challenging this is might not be worth the effort at all.
The primary reason why it’s so tough is that there are just too many choices on Tinder. Even I couldn’t help myself by ignoring women who are attractive yet not interesting. Even interesting people are ignored more frequently than I would like to admit. There are so many people in the queue waiting for me to start a chat with.
I can imagine this being an even bigger issue for women.
Key takeaway: It’s a numbers game and unless you are gorgeous, be prepared to put in extra hours tindering.
4) It’s all about looks
People who live their lives trying to be politically correct will insist that it’s not all about looks. But the truth with how society works is exposed by tinder.
Nobody will like you if they don’t like your pics and selfies.
It’s not so much as you must be good looking for women to swipe right on you. It’s more about you not having pictures so bad that women are compelled to swipe left on.
Be prepared for weirdos who continually request for more photos so that they can see you better. This is even when you have already uploaded closeups and full-body shots of yourself. If you run into these people, ignore them.
These are the type of women who will never be satisfied. They are blind to your good points. And will instead continuously look out for reasons why you are not good enough.
As people on the app will inevitably form a first impression of you from your pictures, make sure you give a good account for yourself and give little, if any, reasons for women to reject you right off the bat.
For example, if you are wearing a cap on your main picture, some women might think that you are going bald. So do include a photo of you with a full head of hair in your other pictures.
Key takeaway: Unleash your best profile photos or face extermination
5) A huge number of women are just there for social proof
You will find that many women are just there to get as many likes as possible just to feel better about themselves.
It’s a great avenue for women in general, even those that are below average, to get some social approval.
And you can easily verify this when they don’t respond to your conversation openers at all… but immediately reply positively when you ask them if you can follow them on Instagram out of the blue…
If you are not getting a response at all from a girl you really fancy, give this Instagram trick a try. I GUARANTEE that you will get a reply fast.
As odd as this sounds, I tested this on all non-responding women who has an Instagram account. And almost 100% of them responds gleefully so as to get an extra follower on Instagram. I am of course… just testing them.
While many women will actually talk to you, many of them have no interest at all in seeing whether a relationship with you of any kind, casual or serious, will develop at all.
This is even when they find you attractive.
A lot of time have been wasted on matches that were going nowhere. If only users who have no intention to date have the courtesy to mention it in their bio…
They are there just to feel better about themselves or to kill time. It sure feeds the ego when matches keep popping up on their smart phones while having dinner with friends.
Key takeaway: Don’t beat yourself up just because you are not getting any progress with specific women. They are just not at the place where you are at relationship-wise
6) A disturbingly high number of women live their lives online
This is the biggest discovery I’ve made that left me shaking my head at how the world has become.
I’ve just made a count. And I found that I have 28 new Tinder contacts added to instant messenger apps like Whatsapp. And I’ve physically met up with about 10 women I’ve met on Tinder.
Almost all of the contacts who I’ve not met in real life are very active on instant messenger. In fact, they respond flirtatiously with zeal almost immediately whenever I ping them.
But they would just not meetup even if their life depended on it. That is because their life depends on Whatsapp and the lot of messaging apps.
It’s not an exaggeration to say that they live their lives on these apps.
They are forever online and on constant lookout for notifications on their phones. It is as if the physical world has become a burden to life. They have a flurry of virtual friends but hardly meet anyone in real life at all other than at the workplace.
I’m just glad I’ve got to live and experience the world before mobile data changed the world. There’s a lot to be happy and contented with when things were much more simple and technology has not made walking zombies out of people.
Key takeaway: If you live your life online too, Tinder is the perfect playground for you
7) The bottom line
From 3 months of using the app I’ve got close to 200 matches. Yes. Those stats are not too shabby. 😀
Attractive women tend to have at least 5 times the matches I have. I know this from looking at their own app dashboards.
I estimate that I’ve chatted with about a third of them. And I’ve went out with about 10 women. I would say it’s probably about 10 as well with women that I tried to go on a date with but just found too many barriers to break down.
I’ve made 2 good female friends who have become activity friends to hangout with. I’ve ran into 1 psychopath. Only 3 were as attractive as their pictures suggest. And finally, only 1 lady who I feel could potentially make a great girlfriend.
I want to add that I’ve not met anyone who turned out to be a different person to the pictures used. Having a different person turn up for a date seems to be an experience a lot of women has had.
But even as I don’t like the results I’m getting, I still cannot get myself to delete Tinder altogether. I think the false hope of digging up a diamond still lingers in the my mind. It’s not going to happen dude!
Tell me what you think are the best and worst of Tinder in the comments section below. Share your stats too if you want.