The Key To Being Congruent Is Resolve Your Inner Conflicts
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There is an aura which surrounds you that you want the people around you to feel. This is like an energy field that protects the very core of what you are about and who you are. This energy field is we come to identify as your persona. However you want to name it, it is the intangible force that helps strangers form an impression of the real person you are inside.
Have you ever met a person for the first time and feels that he or she has the appearance of a very decent person, but you somehow have a different feeling on what they really represent?
That is simply due to their personas not being at peace with who they are in their core. They want to project a persona which is not who they are. And the rejection is so strong that the core gets into a fight with the personas. That’s when their appearances wobble and create an impression of a poser. These people tend to have deep issues.
They often scare people away as others simply are unable to determine who or what they are interacting with. It’s just like a friend who suddenly treats you like his brother all of a sudden. But deep inside you have a feeling that the sudden change in your popularity in his mind has something to do with him just passing his insurance examinations last week.
When you mitigate your internal conflicts, you will appear more congruent. How you do that is by internalizing the type of beliefs that the man you want to be has. Embrace it. There’s nothing wrong if you want the world to see you in better light rather than the immature boy you are inside. But you have to embrace the person you are deep in your core rather than let your outer shell oppress it.
But if you are one sick guy who just want to fake it till you make it, you can try this. Since how people create a mental picture of who you are from your persona, you can manipulate how they think about you by controlling your persona. It would be like food that taste awful but displayed with the type of aesthetic features that you cannot help but want to take a bite.
Take note that even though you may feel that a persona you are trying to project has some specific qualities you want women to perceive, women may still interpret them differently. This is because perception to things depends on many factors. Most importantly, how a person is brought up at home, and early social experiences in school.
Some attractive qualities that you may want to work into your persona are:
5) High sense of self-worth
Here’s the funny part. Do you notice that most of these personal attributes and qualities are very generally accepted as desirable and that you already have these qualities to certain degrees in you? You don’t really have to fake them.
Also notice that these qualities are not gender specific. Both men and women can have these qualities. There is really nothing new here. What qualities a woman find desirable in a man is already part of you. But because of the persona you try to project, you may or may not be showcasing them. You see the weird irony here? So in fact, you could be presenting yourself as someone you are not. And that is why women are running away from you like you have mud on your hands.
So why are you, should I say, choosing not to project these qualities?
Because social conditioning has imprisoned yourself in your own core. You feel a little embarrassed or even somewhat ashamed to let your core thrive via your persona. You have been brainwashed into believing that they are arrogance, self-centered, eccentric, etc. Blame it on television, the movies, magazines, newspapers, your friends or family members.
It can be more puzzling to you that in many instances when you actually display these qualities from the above list, and women still were not attracted to you.
Why is that so?
This is where it all comes together. Your persona has to be driven by the beliefs embedded in the head on an alpha male. It will then lead to masculine attitudes and reflex habits. Integrating the 3 will be like finding the overlapping point of your heart, body and soul.